dancers and criticism

I have been oddly surprised at times how Bellydancers in particular seem to have really weak skins when it comes to criticism. Now look, I KNOW that what I just said is a broad and sweeping generalization. So, I'll amend it this much- I have met many bellydancers who respond wonderfully to critiques of their dance and even a big handful that welcome them. However, looking at my past experiences in dance/theatre, my experience is that Bellydance is the one art where I've encountered the most delicate skins when it comes to criticism.

I've seen it in almost any class I've taken- a person is doing a move incorrectly or is just not getting an aspect of it and the teacher calls them out in class... then, the response? A contourted face, a stiff lip and maybe, in its worst (and to me most immature phase) a snippy comment back to the teacher. This is escalated even further when peers/classmates remark on something that this student is doing incorrectly and usually illicites similar responses, though sometimes even ends in the offended party talking behind their critic's back.

Why is this? My first thought is because Bellydance is marketed as this expression of your own body, no matter its shape and, therefore, attracts those with positive and negative self-images alike. Now, this is one of the many things I find positive about Bellydance- it helps those with healthy body images flourish while supporting and correcting those with negative ones *because we're ALL hot!*

However, those who come to dance with already low body-images are probably more sensitive about their body in general and thus, they take personal offense to criticism. AKA- not seeing the comment, "you really need to have your hip movements clean and strong before adding embellishments, like a bellyroll or you look sloppy" as a good piece of critique to help your technique, but instead hearing something like, "your hips look bad and your bellyroll is awful."

Now let me get this clear- I have been criticised in EVERY form of art/expression I've done- dance, design, singing, theatre. I can't say that sometimes it doesn't sting- some teachers are a lot better than others at tactfully telling you that you're not doing something right. And it can especially be hard when compounded with day-to-day stressors.

However, there's a right way and a wrong way to take criticism. First off, if you trust your teacher (and I really think you should or why the heck are you paying them/taking their classes), you should know that they are telling you these pieces of advice because they want you to be a better dancer. They aren't trying to take you down a peg or get some weird twisted personal satisfaction out of harassing you in front of your class (though I'm not saying some teachers aren't like that... AGAIN, if this is really the case LEAVE THE CLASS). Most teachers are actually teaching dance because they want to mold, shape and harness the potential of dance in other human beings, not because you're just another paycheck. And also, they're there to make sure you're not going to hurt yourself, which is something to be thankful for!

If they say something that hurts your feelings, don't snap back at them! Talk to them after class and tell them how you feel- more than likely, they'll apologize but also let you know that criticism is just part of the deal. It goes with the trade. And in all honesty, would you rather be doing a move wrong and looking awful in a performance, or would you rather deal with some humbling words and then perfect your movements? I know which one I choose.

Though, sometimes, it's just an interpersonal problem. And yeah, I get that too. People rub each other the wrong way and yes, we have all sorts of personalities in our community- the know-it-alls (which I'm sure I'm lumped into!), the passive-aggressives, the meek, the loud-and-flightys... I, for one, believe it's the difference and amazing variety of personalities that make Bellydance so fun- it takes me out of my norm and lets me see how our differences complete each other... but I won't deny that sometimes I suffer from "urgh! why don't you think like ME" syndrome. Anyways, there are times when you just see personalities clash and that, I believe, is the hardest to combat.

But to wrap this all up with my final opinion- if you want to be a professional Bellydancer, a professional performer in ANY vein, then you've got to get a thick skin. Sorry, honey, but it's true. There should be no pussy-footing around the honest truth- if someone looks bad or may be potentially hurting themselve you SHOULD tell them- and they should be able to take it. A true sisterhood/brotherhood, as is so often the catch-phrase that sells Bellydance, includes care, honesty and respect- and that only comes by taking a good look at yourself and saying, "I'm human, I'm not perfect and I trust my sisters/brothers to be honest with me and to help nurture me as I should nurture them."